Wellbeing and Happiness Series with MoNya-Mental
3 February 2021 OCD, Anxiety and PDs. Is there a difference? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder. It is characterized by "irrational" thoughts and fears (Obsessions) that lead to repeated/ritualistic behaviours (Compulsions). OCD falls within the category of Anxiety as it shares the characteristics of feelings of worry, or fears that are strong enough to interfere with one's functioning. OCD is essentially the way the brain tries to regain control of an actual or perceived trauma. The brain does this by trying to organize its external environment in the hope that if the external environment is stable, it can also stabilize, essentially defibrillating itself. When this habit is ingrained, it becomes OCPD. This is when the individual normalizes and identifies with their disorder. Just like any other mental disorder, the longer it exists, the higher chance of it altering ones personality, becoming a Personality Disorder (PD). PDs are not necessarily about blame and manipulation, but ways of coping with difficult situations. People with Personality Disorders have normalized poor (maladaptive) coping mechanisms and therefore adversely affect their communities. A person with a disorder can function well in isolation, but struggles in social spaces, or vice versa. An alcoholic and a violent individual, both have personality disorders in that they have both normalized poor coping mechanisms regardless of one being internalized and another externalized, hence personality disorders are classified on Dramatic/Emotional/Erratic, Anxious/Avoidant and Odd/Eccentric clusters. Cluster A: behaves in a way that others consider unusual or eccentric. There are three cluster A disorders: paranoid, schizoid, and schizotypal personality disorders. Cluster B: has difficulties regulating their emotions and behavior. Others may consider their behavior dramatic, emotional, or erratic. There are four cluster B disorders: antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorders. Cluster C: Behaves in anxious or avoidant ways. There are three cluster C disorders: avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorders (OCPD). It is the nature of the extreme environments that create the disorder that determines the type of disorder. For example, neglect creates a different disorder to abandonment, to abuse. Personality Disorders only exist as a result of the prolonged period one has had the disorder; internalized or otherwise, and this also explains why we do not diagnose personality or mental disorders in children, apart from Spectrum (Attention) Disorders. Short term extreme behaviours may be more appropriately termed Adjustment Reactions/Disorders. Knowledge is the key to a meaningful life. #MoNya-Mental (2021) Www.i-wellbeing.weebly.com
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Wellbeing and Happiness Series with MoNya-Mental
11 January 2021 Covid-19/21 LOCKDOWN MUST HAVES Airways. Zumbani, Mint, lemon, Garlic, Ginger(immune boosters) Bleeding. Surgical Spirit, betadine, Cotton Wool, Plasters and Bandages. Vinegar and salt. Circulation. Juices, to maintain the body hydrated. Regular walk or work routine, not too physically taxing. Gardening, etc... Keep it meaningful and problem solving. Don't wait to fix the roof when it starts raining. First Aid kit General nutrition Various Fruits for natural sugars and help with appetite. Various vegetables. Hot water bottles you may need to sweat the infections out. Soaps for general hygiene, ideally lifebouy, dettol and other antiseptic preparations. Camphor cream and similar products. Access to medical advice including traditional, only when necessary, plenty groups on WhatsApp focusing on natural remedies. Make lockdown a time to rest and recuperate(R&R), get your health in top form while you plan ahead. Also change your habits to only focus on the helpful ones. Try to break the unhelpful ones... we all have them. Keep in touch with friends and family. Access to airtime is essential. Worry less. We're all in the same boat, there is little you can do for others who are away from you. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. Keep safe and well... For further enquiries, visit us at: #MoNya-Mental @Insight Wellbeing fb/ig Www.i-wellbeing.weebly.com 20 December 2020
As we approach a festive season limited by the threat of Covid-19 Pandemic. This time can trigger issues of isolation and loneliness of not being able to have friends and family around as we may have gotten used to over the past years. Our habits have been disrupted, the new normal demands that we behave differently and find joy and satisfaction in different places. So, to help with coping through these changes, here are some Cognitive Tools to help. 1. Assess what's important to you and those around you. Your Needs 2. Learn what it takes to meet those needs. 3. Deliberately practice whatever skill regularly for at least 6 weeks. Forming a new habit. 4. Find the fun side of the behaviour and reward yourself. Gratitude. 5. Share your joys with those nearest and dearest to you, for today is when we create the memories we will rely on tomorrow when we can no longer create. Reminiscing with the closest and dearest will become invaluable after all is said and done, and will bring joy to your later days... 6. Commit your efforts through telling others your plans and intentions.... and take responsibility. Be accountable. 7. Deliberately Walk, Talk, Laugh, Breathe mindfully, consciously and regularly... 8. Plan each day, review it at the end. What's done forms building blocks to greater things, achievements - happiness. What's not done, don't stress, simply reschedule into the following day's activities... for Rome was not built in a day. As a matter of fact, it is still being built. 9. Write your dreams down... why? People generally have a Short attention span, Poor concentration, Poor memory..., etc. You will soon realise how prophetic and powerful your dreams are. 9. Review your thoughts for they interrogate your beliefs. Have courage to question and often change those beliefs as necessary. It is ok to change your mind on things, to change culture and tradition as you gain new information. For we are the ancestors of our future generations. What will we leave or pass on to them? Take courage to confront your fears for they can imprison you even in paradise. Life... ############ Life is infinite but death is also inevitable. YOLO - you really do only live once but through different bodies and experiences, so embrace each one. We are our fathers and mothers, grandparents and kids. We are, but a continuum. The dead and departed seem relieved of the pains and suffering of this world. It's only become pain because we have held onto the unhelpful memories. They have merely transitioned to be with their creator in another world or maybe reincarnated into another creature. Or maybe they've played their part and passed on whatever's left for you to carry on or complete... Or maybe they've gone to heaven for we shall meet again... Whatever your belief. But what about me and you? Those left behind... How will we cope without them? What will we do without their guidance? Insight Wellbeing and Bfsn can help navigate these spaces. Reach out now to regain perspective. Otherwise, catch you in the new year. #MoNya-Mental Www.i-wellbeing.weebly.com https://mothemaku.wixsite.com/bfsn 20 December 2020
As we approach a festive season limited by the threat of Covid-19 Pandemic. This time can trigger issues of isolation and loneliness of not being able to have friends and family around as we may have gotten used to over the past years. Our habits have been disrupted, the new normal demands that we behave differently and find joy and satisfaction in different places. So, to help with coping through these changes, here are some Cognitive Tools to help. 1. Assess what's important to you and those around you. Your Needs 2. Learn what it takes to meet those needs. 3. Deliberately practice whatever skill regularly for at least 6 weeks. Forming a new habit. 4. Find the fun side of the behaviour and reward yourself. Gratitude. 5. Share your joys with those nearest and dearest to you, for today is when we create the memories we will rely on tomorrow when we can no longer create. Reminiscing with the closest and dearest will become invaluable after all is said and done, and will bring joy to your later days... 6. Commit your efforts through telling others your plans and intentions.... and take responsibility. Be accountable. 7. Deliberately Walk, Talk, Laugh, Breathe mindfully, consciously and regularly... 8. Plan each day, review it at the end. What's done forms building blocks to greater things, achievements - happiness. What's not done, don't stress, simply reschedule into the following day's activities... for Rome was not built in a day. As a matter of fact, it is still being built. 9. Write your dreams down... why? People generally have a Short attention span, Poor concentration, Poor memory..., etc. You will soon realise how prophetic and powerful your dreams are. 9. Review your thoughts for they interrogate your beliefs. Have courage to question and often change those beliefs as necessary. It is ok to change your mind on things, to change culture and tradition as you gain new information. For we are the ancestors of our future generations. What will we leave or pass on to them? Take courage to confront your fears for they can imprison you even in paradise. Life... ############ Life is infinite but death is also inevitable. YOLO - you really do only live once but through different bodies and experiences, so embrace each one. We are our fathers and mothers, grandparents and kids. We are, but a continuum. The dead and departed seem relieved of the pains and suffering of this world. It's only become pain because we have held onto the unhelpful memories. They have merely transitioned to be with their creator in another world or maybe reincarnated into another creature. Or maybe they've played their part and passed on whatever's left for you to carry on or complete... Or maybe they've gone to heaven for we shall meet again... Whatever your belief. But what about me and you? Those left behind... How will we cope without them? What will we do without their guidance? Insight Wellbeing and Bfsn can help navigate these difficult spaces. Reach out now to regain perspective. Otherwise, catch you in the new year. #MoNya-Mental Www.i-wellbeing.weebly.com https://mothemaku.wixsite.com/bfsn I sat having lunch with a gentleman who was on a resettlement course after having served 41 years in the military, and was retiring...
What is that about, i asked? Its about learning to put a CV together and looking for jobs, he said. Little did i know that a CV was still useful for retirement... wow, after 41 years in the military, what do you plan on doing? I'm thinking of just doing jobs around the house and maybe some voluntary work, maybe 2 days a week. 41 years worth of invaluable experience, i wondered what good that could do to the lives of the young men and women in our societies? But he shuddered to think how different things had become. How unruly the youth had become... Wouldn't that experience help make things better? I prodded Couldn't your training of the youth help turn things around? No-o , i couldn't do that. I'd smack them and end up in trouble. This exchange left me feeling so deflated and hopeless that our experienced men and women are afraid to pass on their knowledge and experience... Could we utilise these skills in better ways than having them behind the till at British Heart Foundation or Oxfarm charity shops? Please have some courage to pass on your experience and knowledge to opur young, be it directly or indirectly, for his is what in my opinion can change the trajectory that we are spiralling down at. What are your thoughts? Today's thought for well-being is the Reason.
The Reason you are where you are today, The Reason you are doing what you are doing now... Everything happens for a Reason, Everything!!! Sometimes that Reason is just to remind you of what's important Sometimes that Reason is, you're just not paying enough attention Sometimes that Reason is you're holding onto things that you need to let go Whatever that Reason is for you? What's important however is, you need to pay attention to the Reason, not what is happening... What is happening is just smoke and noise, and outcomes... look for and understand the Reason. The Reason that you don't eat or sleep well... The Reason that you don't get along with that one person or however many... The Reason that you don't pay attention to what matters, the basics, the little things, the pennies... The Reason that you are not available in the moment (the Now) where you're needed... The Reason that you don't remember things that are important to you... The Reason that you feel the need to escape/avoid your reality into whatever vice... The Reason that you feel so angry, frustrated, anxious, down and helpless. That accident that broke your leg, is just a reminder of that Reason. That illness that kept you in bed this morning, is just a reminder of that Reason. That injury that got you into hospital...is just a reminder of the Reason That's wreck from that accident we just survived it's just a reminder of that Reason That string of failed relationships, is the reminder of that Reason That long list of enemies, all these are reminders of that reason. That state your home/ community/ nation is in, is just a reminder of that Reason. That person that comes into or gets out of your life, is just a reminder of that Reason Pay attention to the Reason, not to the symptoms...That one Reason!!! What is the Reason why things are not working out for you? What is the Reason why you're struggling? What is the Reason why others take advantage of you? What is it that makes you vulnerable? Is it really others, or is it something about YOU? Moreso, what role do you play in that Reason? You may be doing everything else fighting these triggers but ignoring the Reason You may be doing everything else to succeed but without a good Reason /foundation You may be going to all lengths and breadths but without a Reason/ basics... What is your Reason? If you cant figure it out, reach out... someone out there may be able to help. For everything happens for a Reason. Wellbeing Series with MoNya-Mental
Sleep and its functions We all sleep, we all dream, we all die... Why so morbid? or is it...??? Actually not. Its all the same... Sleep is simply temporary death, Sleep is simply a reminder of what death looks and feels like. In the world of sleep and dreams, We all have died, and die everyday. Think about it for a moment... Sleep is the time when the body gets to rest, but the mind never sleeps. In sleep, the consciousness relaxes, opening way for the subconscious. Where there are no bounds, no status, no time or distance limitations. Anyone can meet and interact anyone in the dream world, Kings meet paupers at even playing fields, or paupers accessing higher consciousness. This is the world where there is a fine line between reality, imagination and dreams. Hence, never ignore a dream, for it often has a message, however unclear... All activities are processed, sorted/organised, and filed away. Unresolved activities are explored with infinite possible outcomes. In here, infinite possible futures are explored vividly, some of which will be experienced. Those are often referred to as prophetic dreams and or Deja vu, if remembered. That sense of having experienced something before, but just cannot quite remembered. So, why is any or all of this necessary? Sleep has two main functions: 1) The physical body needs to rest and repair. 2) The mental experiences need processing and sorting. The first phase of the sleep cycle helps the body to relax, hence the deep breathing. and it is this relaxation that allows the conscious mind to let its guard down, and let the subconscious mind take over with the dream experiences. The more difficult and distressing unresolved experiences, the more disturbed/restless sleep / nightmares. Fortunately however, the mind does not like the idea of being uncomfortable, and so it makes it so that, the distressing dreams occur but are just not remembered. Selective amnesia This explains why some people do not remember their dreams at all. At times, they may not necessarily be difficult nor distressing experiences, but just the body is not relaxed enough to let the subconscious mind take over. This is how Hypnosis can help induce the relaxed states. Not allowing the body to relax enough presents with severe consequences in the long term. Memory is affected as the filling of information is corrupted, some can dementias result. Energy levels are compromised, causing agitation, irritability and or poor motivation. Appetite can also be affected as chewing requires a significant amount of energy. Concentration is also disturbed as one becomes easily distracted due to hyper sensitivity of lacking sleep. This sensitivity can further compromise the blood brain barrier, causing headaches, causing a distortion to the dream states, reality and imagination, another key feature in dementias and altered perceptions. Balance and co-ordination can also be affected, affecting mobility and prone to accidents. This can start with what is termed hypnogogic or hypnopompic hallucinations. These are brief visual or auditory hallucinations that are experienced at falling asleep or waking. They cannot be confused with dreams as they are often quite surreal and lucid. The severity of these are what becomes full blown hallucinations, often affecting more than just the visual and auditory sense cortexes. There are many reasons why this can happen. Some are genetic, but most are learnt through extreme environments. When the body is tired, allow it to rest / sleep. While the person suffering the dementias or hallucinations may not have any insight into their experiences, Its is often those around them that suffer. Would you spare your loved ones the distress of looking after you when you can no longer remember them or worse, yourself? Get into the habit of sleeping regularly and well. At least 6 hours every night... there are reasons for these durations. Seek help if you are struggling, it is never too late. Wellbeing Series with MoNya-Mental
What's your battle for today, this week, month or year? Life is about conquering; Conquering troubles or adversaries, Conquering situations, Conquering goals or dreams. Conquering ideals, Having a vision and seeing it through to reality. Therefore life is about fighting to conquer, Hence in times of peace, men plan for war, and in times of war, plan for peace. If you're not fighting, better be preparing for one, otherwise one will come and find you unprepared. Being complacent in peace leads to slavery for when war comes, you're defeated and taken into captivity; where fighting becomes impossible, unless you're fighting for your master's interests. Break free, escape to be able to fight your own fights. Where do you stand today? Are you in war or are you planning for one? Perhaps you're in captivity; what's your escape plan? Your troubles, situations, ideals, dreams are waiting to be conquered. Have courage to conquer, and be prepared. Always... #MoNya-Mental Www.i-wellbeing.weebly.com Wellbeing Series with MoNya-Mental
11/ 08/ 2020 Self-Esteem and Confidence What is Self-esteem? Self esteem refers to how a person believes and thinks about their own worth and value, often in comparison to others. This perspective impacts how that person feels as a result of their own evaluation of worth, which heavily influences the choices and decisions that one makes and how they lead their lives. People with a low self-esteem often rely on others to do things, support and make decisions for them. The concept of the Self is what we think about the "I"; We often think of this in context of what we think of ourselves, whether we are deserving or not. There are 4 key attributes that highlight the esteem most people feel for themselves: self-confidence, Identity, Sense of belonging, Ability, The availability or lack thereof of key challenging vs supportive elements result in the following: Inflated self-esteem. People with inflated self-esteem think they are better than others and have no doubts about underestimating everyone else. This is also referred to as arrogance and this limits the ability to develop beyond the self. Healthy self-esteem. People with this type of self-esteem accept and value themselves as well as they accept and value others. Low self-esteem. This when one grossly undermines themselves, and therefore often others, complicating their ability to trust and collaborate openly. Why is Self-Esteem important? A healthy sense of self, allows for an internal sense of security and worth. You therefore do not feel the need to gain validation or permission from others. You will generally have positive relationships with others seek to support and improve others as well as you will already feel more confident about your own abilities. You're also open to learning and feedback, which opens you up for further development and to acquire and master new skills. Healthy self esteem invites a deeper relational depth, rooted in challenging and supporting self and others. People with a healthy sense of self, actively seek work they enjoy beyond any financial or material rewards. They value honesty in self and others, They accept responsibility for their quality of life, and do not blame others. They care about their health generally through maintaining good habits and routines that are supportive of such. They like children as they enjoy the teaching and sharing their life lessons with children. They avoid self-destructive behaviours, like addictions of any kind including work and any aspects that get in the way of building meaningful relationships with others. Health self-esteem also thrive at Taking calculated risks, more than sticking to safe and limiting activities. Those with as poor sense of self however create complex difficulties with others when they often agree to things that they are not sure of nor have skills for, in a bid to try and impress. This is often what leads to cheating, corruption and generally destructive behaviours. They tend to take up tasks and roles that they are not competent in, while this is not in itself a problem, the associated arrogance gets in the way of them gaining the core skills required to become competent. Low self-esteem is a key feature in people who struggle with Depression/ sadness/low mood, anxieties, generally avoidance of difficult situations. It is also associated with feelings of inadequacy, as they compare themselves to others. It is also difficult for them to accept compliments as they doubt themselves. They also sabotage their own efforts through neglecting their own needs, especially emotional ones in a bid to please others. They are highly sensitivity to criticism, their temper is also quite low with very little flexibility. They also place an excessive preoccupation with impersonal problems, like work and gossip. Psychosomatic symptoms such as sensitivity to pain, fatigue, insomnia and headaches are quite common. What causes them or how do they develop? Some of the many causes of poor or low self-esteem include: Unhappy childhood where parents or guardians and other significant adults were extremely critical, or challenging and hardly supportive. The reverse is also known to have similar impact, where there was too much support and very little challenge to develop own coping skills. This core orientation to life contributes to poor academic performance in school resulting in poor life choices. Prolonged stressful life event such as toxic relationships or economic hardships also contribute to associated confidence. While these are the core issues that underlie self esteem, disrespect through undermining negative words and exploitative actions that amount to emotional abuse can also cause a poor sense of self, often where one is unlike to remove themselves for whatever reason. Inducing shame, fear, anger etc. will ruin a child's self-esteem. How does this impacts general performance, productivity and mental health? While low self-esteem can be easily dismissed as a character trait, or mistake it for kindness or humility, it has long-term damaging effects, as can be seen from minor activities like "not speaking up in class/public or work meetings, phobia of presentations" to longer-term threats, like relationship problems or self-damaging behaviours. These are inabilities to express oneself or challenge injustices in healthy ways, often bottling up issues leading to explosive arguments that are often damaging. How to build or rebuild your self-esteem. Working on your self-esteem can be challenging and takes courage and the right support, by doing this work, you will have much higher satisfaction with yourself – and reconnect with your own truth and joy. 1. Seek out professional help. Going to therapy can help you identify and understand the origin of your low self-esteem, Identify and challenge your negative beliefs and what's positive about yourself. Consider yourself worthy. This is the most important aspect of life. There will be conditions when you will feel depressed and consider yourself a waste. Improve your physical health: 2. Prioritize exercise that feels good for your body. Even small amounts of movement, such as breathing, walking or yoga, can actually boost your serotonin levels in the brain and help you feel calmer, help you make better decisions, feel stronger and feel more in control of yourself. 3. Put your health first with well-rounded meals. There is a strong mind-body connection, so when we are feeling healthy physically, it can have a dramatic impact on our self-esteem, as well as how we feel emotionally. It is, of course, important to be mindful if exercise and eating healthy is becoming extreme, compulsive, interfering with other aspects of life, as this can become detrimental to self-esteem and have other emotional consequences. 4. Make a list of your priorities or goals. Make it a habit to outline your goals each day, week, month or year. Try to stick to them so you don’t get derailed by other people’s needs, demands, and requests. This takes a lot of self discipline. Improve in one area every month. Choose twelve areas where you think you need improvement to change your life. 5. Pause and assess before automatically saying “yes” to a request. Is this something you can do, want to do? Ask yourself: Am I saying yes because this is something I actually want to do or just so this person will like me/need me/approve of me? 6. Start lifting yourself up! Its all about you... Leave love notes to yourself around your home, office, car or any other space that you spend a lot of time in. For example, I am beautiful, I am confident, I am successful, I am worthy! (Because you are). Before long, these affirmations will not feel foreign to you – and you will start to feel it and believe it! 7. Start meditating, using positive affirmations. There are a lot of free apps that you can choose from. 8. Notice, and try to limit, when you are comparing yourself to others Ask yourself, why is it that what this person is doing/saying/wearing matters to me so much? A concrete way to minimize this is to reduce exposure to social media. 9. Find your favorite way to unwind, relax, and pamper yourself This is a wonderful way to invest in yourself and honor your worth. 10. Replace “I’m sorry” with more situation-appropriate interjections Such as “excuse me” or “beg your pardon,” where appropriate, or, depending on the situation, replace sorry with "thank you" – such as “thank you so much for your patience" when you're running late. 11. Establish positive relationships—and avoid negative ones Give yourself a break, be kind to yourself Become more assertive and learn to say No. Take On challenges and give up being too critical of yourself Working with a therapist is a great way to identify and capitalize on your strengths, and pave the way for self-empowerment. Wellbeing Series with MoNya-Mental
i-wellbeing.weebly.com: Health Series by MoNya2018 What is Mental health? Mental health is the harmony between our beliefs and our realities and often lies within the relationships that exist within ourselves and/or with others. Mental health problems arise when we struggle to find harmony or make sense of this gap. The longer we struggle with this gap, illness or disorders begin to form as we get used to our chaos.
*Be happy with who you are and what you have.* We're not all meant to be rich, married and or have children. The only comparison worth of making is within your own growth and development. Our parents may not have shown or taught us how they made it. Lead your own path, not theirs. *
We are all unique. *Be YOU* . Guaranteed, there's a lot out there dying to meet/follow the real you regardless of how quirky or weird you may think yourself to be. *It's ok to crack the shell and come out to play...* #MoNya2018 www.i-wellbeing.weebly.com 26/09/2018 |
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